King Biscuit Time – “ Martyn’s biscuit diary part 2.

Following the revelations of past tea time treats, dizzy heights were once again scaled last week. From the unassuming customer to the veteran biscuit apostle, there are times when foil wrappers and cheapo art work cry out to be bought amongst other mundane supermarket wares. With a tag line of ‘An assortment of whole biscuits, biscuit mis-shapes and part biscuits ideal for dunking in your favourite beverage’, we knew gold had possibly been struck as we embarked on an afternoon tea voyage of discovery. After money cleverly spared on packaging (look how they’ve used the ‘D’ as the handle on the tea cup!), I initially thought these were bootleg but once opened they appeared to be the real McCoy. Having not made the final cut, instead of condemning these flawed biscuits to the rejects bin, bourbon and party rings are thrown together and sold off as Dunkables. We didn’t hesitate in embracing them collectively and individually, chipped corners and all, with a handful only having survived half intact after some conveyor belt tragedy. If aesthetically they were not fit to be sold alongside their fellow brethren, we savoured this mixed band of outsiders. Although being fairly standard on the taste front, did they actually survive intense dunking conditions? Indeed they did, all were great tea time companions, barring the custard cream which became a little soggy. Rather than sublime flavours and textures, these biscuit Raggy Dolls win through because of the motley bunch that they are, heaped together in this old school pack with it’s no nonsense motto and tawdry design. Danny would like to add that his selection was awarded a first prize rosette with top marks awarded for variety, tradition, unpredictability & that they came from the Poundland biscuit isle & have never been seen again.

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